Am I Any Good At This?
For years, this little psychodrama would play out, three to four times a year. I would be sat in the passenger seat of a car, being driven north, up Penistone Rd in Sheffield. With a melancholy sadness, I would reflect on my performance at whatever convention I had just attended and declare – either out loud, or internally – that this was the last time. From now on, I will just play games, not run them. I couldn’t deliver a good game. Needless to say, by the time the next con rolled around, I was there, frantically stabbing my name into the games page, offering a game.
So when Simon Burley opined on Bluesky recently about his feelings of imposter syndrome regarding his ability to run a game, in comparison to other people he saw at a recent con, it reminded me of this recurring moment, and I thought I could share how I got over myself.
You Are Not The Game
HHH is The Game!
Joking aside, the first part of this is something that I can only repeat so many times – everyone around the table is a player. Virtually every RPG says something like this:
“You need X players, one of whom will take the role of the [insert synonym for referee]…’
They almost never say
“You need X players, and one [insert synonym for referee]’
As if the GM role is somehow a wholly different caste within the gaming hobby. This is something we struggled horribly with back in the day, and something I thought we had got rid of entirely. However recently, with the rise of the celebrity DM and people referring to individuals as ‘their DM’ etc. it has made its way back into the gaming lexicon.
The quality of any gaming session is a synthesis of, yes, the input from the GM, but also the individual inputs from the players, the interactions between the players, the quality of the play environment and lets be fair, that super elusive X-factor of what makes a good game turn into an awesome game.
The GM is just one part of the game, so when you are judging whether a game is poor, average, good, great or awesome, remember that the GM role isn’t all that makes it or breaks it.
However, it does have a part to play.
Players as Customers, or Players as Collaborators?
Another facet to consider is what makes for a good game? I assume most GMs would like to think the players had a good time at their game but again, what that entails differs between GMs.
Some games treat the player as a customer. They are there to be entertained by the GM. There is a performance, of which they are part. They are on the rollercoaster of a story and the GM is the theme park designer, throwing in the drops and the loops when needed. If the players walk away entertained, with a good war story, some happy memories and laughed/screamed (delete as appropriate) at the right times during the game, you did a good job. Well done.
Some games treat the player as a collaborator. They are there to engage the player in the construction of the game. The GM keeps the play within some agreed parameters, but the onus is on the players to be as much a part of the game’s trajectory as the GM. Players still walk away entertained from a good collab game, with those happy memories, but they also have a feeling of achievement maybe?
I think it’s good to understand what sort of game you’re running (and yes, this is a vast simplification and almost certainly its a continuum, but honest, if blog post writers wrote an academic thesis for every example life would just be boring, so stop pushing those glasses up your nose, Mr Well-Ackshully…) because the success criteria are different – and if you want to judge your performance, you need to be judging against the right criteria!
Bling is not the Thing
I see a lot of people intimidated by gamer bling. This summer I saw the very best gaming table I have ever seen, at Longcon. It was Graham Spearing’s The One Ring game, and it was a thing of beauty. It had everything; wooden themed GMs screen, copious minis, vinyl Middle Earth map table cover, a laptop with a player facing screen, character standees, handouts and even 3d printed One Ring dice trays (!). I was awestruck.
On our table of The Between? Some character sheets and a never ending array of biscuits and fruit.
From what I gather, the One Ring game was amazing (and it certainly sounded like everyone was having a great time) and you know what? So was our game.
Loads of bling will never make a bad game into a good game. Lack of bling will never turn a good game into a bad game. It’s nice. It’s very seductive. It is absolutely the greatest distraction in gaming, when it comes to GMs thinking they are not enough, when they are.
So how CAN you judge whether you’re ‘good’?
I am reminded of a Bob Newhart sketch, where he plays a therapist who offers quick, cheap therapy to people, and then just shouts ‘STOP IT!’ at them.
STOP looking around a room at a convention, seeing the other GMs doing their thing, and thinking ‘Oh man, I am so shit, I don’t do that. I’m terrible!’.
STOP thinking there is an acceptable ‘good’ level of proficiency, and always keep the mindset of ‘what can I do to improve?’
STOP thinking that ‘there can be only one’ – that there is some bloody uber-GM out there, perfect in every facet. Because there isn’t. They don’t exist, and they never have.
You’re as good as you are at that moment, and you can always and should always be looking to get better. THAT’S what makes a good GM (and indeed, a good Player too) – that drive to improve. The ability to honestly look at your performance and say ‘This was good, but that could improve. In the next game, I’ll try that then.’
When we learn to reflect, experiment and drive ourselves forwards, we become better. When we turtle up, defensively, and seek only self-aggrandisement, we stagnate.
How to become better?
Three easy steps
PLAY MORE GAMES AS A PLAYER – You learn from seeing other people do their craft. You’ll pick up tricks and tips effortlessly. You’ll see things you do which you don’t like when they are done to you. You’ll see how players react. You’ll learn.
PLAY AND RUN DIFFERENT GAMES – Explode out of your comfort zone and try out new games. They will all teach you different things about the hobby and yourself. You might not like them, but a non-result is still a result, right?
TALK WITH YOUR PLAYERS – Please, PLEASE, communicate with your players. Tell them you’re going to try something new and would like feedback. Encourage feedback on sessions which highlights the positives as well as the negatives. In fact, ‘What I liked, and what I would like to see’ is a great method (Stars and Wishes etc).
[Players – this one’s for you. Reach out to the GM in your current game and give them some feedback, especially if you’re enjoying a game. So often, we are met with a wall of gaming silence until the next session rolls around. Just dropping them a message saying ‘Hey, I really loved that session. It was great when you did X. Next time, I’d love to see Y happen…’ makes a massive difference!]
Where have all the good GMs gone?
To misquote the greatest hero of the 90s, Marshall Law – “I’m a Great GM hunter. I hunt Great GMs. But I haven’t found any yet.”
In my world, there are no great GMs. There are improving GMs and there are stagnant GMs. I want to be an improving GM. I want to learn as much as I can and continue growing. If I ‘phone in’ a session, even if the players love it, I consider it a failure. If I learn from a session, even a fuck-up, then it’s a success.
Play games, be a player, talk to people, seek out comments, offer suggestions and be open to change. That’s what makes you a good player, who takes the GM’s role.
